Is Orange in this season?

Don’t think it really is. But Domenico and Stefano better make it work, because it seems that the sweet D&G pair has just been sentenced to jail in Italy for one year and eight months for tax evasion. Oopsy Daisy.

Sweet Baby Yeezus

Considering that Kim Kardashian went into labour within hours of Kanye’s Yeezus leaking, I am pretty positive that their baby girl is in fact the messiah (also, will most likely grow up to be the queen of dirty talking).

So as part of celebrations, I went out this Saturday dressed as a rapper.  Which is a really bad move if you want men to buy you drinks. Really should have gone for overhyped-Essex-girl-from-Armenia Kim’s look instead.

CHIYOME

I need a new bag.

Maybe two. Maybe freakin’ five hundred.

And only from Chiyome.

Anyone hiring?

My couple of weeks of holiday in Italy gave me enough time to think about the future (well you know, because during the last 6 months I was so occupied with drinking illegal rice whiskey coconut milk in Laos, surfing in Philippines and going to drag-queen shows in Montreal, that I did not have any time for that  at all).

I am graduating in a little less than a month from now, hence it seems sensible to start a proper job hunt. The fact that I am 25 and bought a soya milk Latte this morning on my dad’s Visa will not be socially acceptable for long. On the other hand all these social norms are so overrated, right?

Anyway, I believe my academic background (I’m talking universities in Europe, Asia and North America) and especially my Master’s degree makes me rather qualified for making photocopies. Or coffee. In case anyone is hiring?

I could also make playlists for the office?

Oh and in hopes of a promotion, I would play this one to my boss:

Checkmate

Spotted at Naples airport.

He must have majored in Math. I mean you kind of have to, just to be able to match all these checks on checks on checks.

Oh sweet Italiaaa

I spent the last couple of weeks on the Almafi coast tanning and hoping to see Italian ragazzi eat my gelato. And while in Italy some ragazzi drive their Vespas waiting for the Sartorialist to come shoot them like it’s no biggie, others are rocking what I call the footballer-from-the-80′s look. As for instance:

No but really. Does anyone know which team he plays for?

Must be a footballer for sure.

Busy and Very Important

Once this Danish guy told me that I have a natural talent for giving presentations. He was like, yeaaah, you just go out there and own it, being all smart and funny with your PPT slides.

I actually choose to ignore the fact that this was said at 2am outside some random bar, the guy was giving me the whole take-me-home look and back in those days I used to make pink Powerpoint slides with little hearts instead of bullet points.

I kind of prefer to think that I actually do have a natural talent for presenting.

Or that I’m smart and funny (despite the fact that I got this “smart and funny” thing once 4 years ago, and “you say so much shit” is basically all I hear these days).

Surprisingly, there are still some lost souls out there that do enjoy my words of wisdom. Well because all the stuff I say is so wise, doh’.

In case you haven’t checked Stiliukas yet, you should.  I was a busy and very important guest editor there for a week, sharing my thoughts on nail polish and other existential matters. Here it goes once again:

1. The Slutty Lesbian Virgin Suicides by Maje

During the last 4 months I spent more time looking for a dress for my Master’s graduation party than actually writing my thesis (I genuinely hope my supervisor is not reading this, even though between you and me, he could benefit from checking one or two fashion blogs)

Anyways, I think I found THE dress. Maje calls it Columbe, which is apparently French for a dove, but I feel that slutty (20 centimeters above the knee) lesbian (rolled up sleeves) virgin suicides ‘(baby blue and all) is a little bit more appropriate for the look.

2. COS PERSPEX HEEL

Frank Ocean once said: I believe that marriage isn’t between a man and a woman but between love & love.

Hence… Mr COS Perspex Heel Shoe, will you marry me?

3. CHANEL INTERNATIONAL

Have you guys checked the L’ÉTÉ PAPILLON DE CHANEL Makeup Collection for Summer 2013?

First, I thought this nail polish was called Belarus. Like blue glitter and all.

But apparently it’s Bel-Argus. My bad.

In my own defense, the last time I wore Chanel’s Peridot, I was mistaken for a Polish hooker. Belarus only seemed like a natural next step.

4. iPad vs iPad case

Today I woke up thinking that I really need an Ipad. And only because I am dying for this Acne Onyx iPad case. Given that they both cost pretty much the same, most likely I would have to pick one of the two.

You reckon if I stuff the case with old Cosmopolitans, I can trick people into thinking there’s an actual iPad inside?

5. Vitaly Design

A couple of months ago I made friends with this Canadian guy in Thailand who was some sort of a jewelry designer.  Not sure you could technically call that ’making friends’ because I was working on my second bucket of rum/ diet coke in front of 7-eleven, his buddy was fixing my smudged make up and I can’t remember most of the conversation.

Nonetheless, I tracked down the guy’s website (I know, very CIA of me) and Vitaly Design actually makes pretty hip jewellery.

Their double rings are a bit too much of ‘a gangster that went to a private school’ for my taste, but then again some other stuff is very Love Aesthetics-ish. Kind of makes me want to swipe my credit card like there’s no tomorrow. Tomorrow, where I am an unemployed recent grad asking parents for money to afford a gin& diet tonic.

Note to myself, Canada is yet another market for potential husbands (along with Swedish snowboarders, French wine makers, Australian farmers and Russian Sugar daddies)